How I roll...

I love fashion. For as long as I can remember I've had my own curious ideas regarding style, and they typically had nothing to do with what my peers were wearing. I first wore leopard print in the form of a bikini constructed (at my request) by my mom at age 9. Other style staples at this time included leather mini skirts and over-sized shoulder-padded sweaters adorned with large feathery brooches. Did I look like a pint-sized hooker? Perhaps, but my mother--a talented seamstress and costume designer--was always down with supporting my creative side. :)

I started wearing vintage in 8th grade, when my mom dug up a few of her dresses from the 70s, and this is when my love of thrifting really took hold. I can clearly recall the piece that began my taste for the shapes of yester-year: a white brocade a-line mini-dress with four rhinestone buttons my mother had made for herself in high school. From the first time I rocked that dress in public, it was on.

While my friends were busy shopping off the rack at places like American Eagle, I was scouring Goodwills with a fervor, snapping up bathing suits that I repurposed as leotards for my ballet classes, little boys' tee-shirts featuring long forgotten baseball teams, and old mens' work pants, cardigans or suiting pieces. I was just as comfortable in an 80s leopard print blouse and black vinyl pants as I was in my boys' size 4T He-Man pajama shirt and plaid school girl skirt. My style always leaned toward the theatrical--I was born and raised in ballet, which I abandoned only briefly to concentrate my efforts on musical theatre--and this background hugely influenced my fashion sense. In my senior year of high school (concurrent with my role in the class musical) I adopted the pencil skirt as a wardrobe staple, often pairing thrifted finds with seamed fishnets, neck scarves and shrunken cardigans, a la Betty Rizzo.

My mom and I co-designed a total of three prom gowns and one May Day dress (don't ask) that I wore with pride, and they were all simultaneously wild and fashion forward. Our first was a seaweed/fairy inspired little number with a patchwork lace top and chiffon strip skirt. The second was a liquid silver fishtail-hemlined goddess gown which I wore with long white satin gloves and a tiara. The third was a Romeo-and-Juliet-esque gold brocade empire waistline bodice with a tiered top skirt and straight cornflower blue underskirt, and the last was an asymmetrical silk shantung sheath with a watercolor chiffon train that attached to a removable v-shaped belt. I honestly don't know what my style would be today without mom's influence... it seems like she was always altering something to fit my non-existent torso or fashioning some fabulous piece out of scraps of fabric left over from some wedding or theatrical production she was working on.

Although my adventures in fashion often resulted in unfavorable reviews from my classmates--most of whom used fashion to fit in while I used it to stand out--I stayed true to my own strange stylings. I knew that eventually someone (other than my mom) would appreciate my quirky sense of style, so when I finally moved to New York after graduating college it felt like entering a universe of my own kind. I was overjoyed to note that I could literally wear anything in that city, and no one would blink an eye. It was the most fashion freedom I had ever experienced, and the friends and cohorts I acquired there only encouraged my assiness. It was not unusual to find me wandering the streets in vintage bathing suits (which I pretended were jumpsuits), paired with a wide belt, metallic heels, piles of gold necklaces, and a 40s era hat. That's just how I rolled. Case in point:


(Note: For her own protection, I've cropped the image to avoid revealing the identity of the lovely young lady who was about to get her ass smacked mid-dance party...)
(Note #2: That photo was actually taken in the very same bar in which I met my future husband! Oh the irony...)

In New York, I lived the fast life. I balanced days working in the hospitality industry with nights spent go-go dancing at a metal bar



or getting loose anyplace that didn't decide to kick me and my crew of rabble-rousers out.



I took gigs on the side acting in and choreographing independent films, and I got paid to perform--both legitimately in theatre and ridiculously as one half of a performance-arty rap band.



We did stuff like this:



and this:



and this:



I hair modeled for a fantastic German salon/training studio in Rockefellar Center. I model modeled for the absurdly aws feminist mag, Bust.



I rolled with a crew of hardcore dance-partying, booze guzzling, fun-loving, thug-tastical ladies, and we owned.



Then, this happened.



Now I always knew that I didn't want to raise no babies up in NYC. Visions of myself lugging a stroller down the subway stairs, cursing loudly, and hoping some well-meaning Mexican would offer his assistance (because seriously ya'll, I never saw a white dude help a lady down the stairs) had haunted my nights for ages, and I knew that the only thing to do was to take my baby daddy and my fetus back to the land from whence I came and where my huuuuuuge fam still resided: Pittsburgh, PA. Cut to now.



I'm a full-time mommy and grad student, a first time homeowner, and a part-time intern. I'm a world away from my old life, and thus we get to the reason I feel compelled to start this blog. I still love fashion, but after having my son I found myself minus the wardrobe I'd been curating forevs and plus a body I no longer recognized. I had no choice but to start re-building, and sometimes it seemed that either my style voice had gone dumb or all of that newborn screaming had left me deaf. I only recently happened upon that glittery unicorn of the internet--the style blog--and I've since spent many of my little one's naps trolling sites like homerunballerina, stylishwhitefemale, and whatiwore for fashion inspiration. These ladies are precious, creative and tiny.

Even before baby I was more Marilyn than Twiggy, but I never let my double digit size come between me and fashion. I don't intend to start now. So this blog is a personal challenge to myself: to work my (now even larger) curves, put together looks that are both flattering and fashionable, and to document my attempts here. And so I bring you Haute Mama. Join me as I figure out how to strike a balance between how I used to roll:



and how I do...





-M.